Everybody loves Art Caplan, but it’s hard not to get the impression that he’s just phoning it in much of the time. A WaPo reporter breaks down in panicky confusion over what to buy at the grocery store:

I can’t decide what to eat. I don’t mean which recipe to make, or what restaurant to go to. I mean when I go grocery shopping, I’m paralyzed with indecision. Everything, it seems, is either ethically, nutritionally or environmentally incorrect. Guilt is ruining my appetite. . . .

Should I buy the omega-3 eggs that are supposedly good for my heart? But wait, they’re not organic. Maybe I should spring for the $3.50 organic eggs from Horizon, even though I read that the company has gotten so huge, it’s driving out the smaller organic farmers. Perhaps I should get the cage-free eggs from a small farm in Pennsylvania? Or the brown eggs from vegetarian-fed, free-roaming hens? . . .

[C]hoosing what to eat and drink has become hard work. It’s not simply a case of taste or price. Now we have to ask ourselves: Is this good for my health? Have animals suffered? Is it local? Organic? Bad for the planet? Harvested by child workers?

What’s worse, the answers are often contradictory. Should I buy the locally grown lettuce at the farmers market, even if the farmer uses some pesticides? It’s good to support local farmers, but what about pesticides’ link to cancer?

Either she’s never encountered a complicated moral problem before, or she’s just surprised to find that food choices could be one of them. Either way, she’s arriving pretty late to this game. And Caplan, to his credit, points this out:

I asked [Caplan] if he found moral predicaments at the grocery store.

“Oh, absolutely. And it doesn’t even end with the food,” he says. “One of my great moral quandaries comes when the cashier asks, ‘Paper or plastic?’ ” (For the record, he chooses paper.)

Then he goes off the rails.

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